Ch. 2 The ballad of Natcha Rambova In my noticing her more, i started to have a mutual attraction to her, and so did grita. we started to spend more time together. ''so natacha, what kind of things do you like to do on your free time''. i asked as the three of us sat in the living room of my apartment. ''you mean what don't i like to do'' she said as she leaned over and started kissing grita, who pulled away then looked at me as i replied ''natacha, i dont think this is going to work out, grita is mine and mine only, shes is not to be touched or preyed upon by anyone, have i made myself clear''. i replied as i moved her towards me. ''as clear as glass''. she replied as she the said ''well can i atleast dress her in various costumes and take some photos''. ''ill take the photos and pick the costumes, as its my fantasy''. i said as we all went to the bedroom and sat around. Natacha was 5'8, slender, and also had really long hair but she didnt even compare to my angel, natacha was manipulative and venomus, bossy and dominating. she and grita had a love hate realtionship, and so did we. but above all my angel was always first in my heart and soul it was for her i prayed and lived for. i took my angel to my bed everynight and almost ignored natacha at night cos i wanted to be alone with grita, see when i was with natacha i hardly had time to be alone with grita during the day, even though she was in the apartment, natacha wouldnt let us be. we all listened to the radio, as grita play her guitar and said ''ive had some great idea's for a song and have been aproached by a record company to record a few things i ay take them up on it'' i smiled at her and said ''thats so great honey, i cant wait to here them''. ''well you will after the movie, finishes then i shall do a comedy with roscoe arbuckle, i think you'd like it natacha''. she said playfully hitther her knee as she said ''whats it about''. ''i dont know we haven written it yet, were going to write it in a few weeks the 2 of us''. she said as she continued. ''umm i have an idea in my head but we wont know for sure until we start''. ''well i know it will be funny, your a great writter and i know it will do well, like your legend of anne bonney''. ''thank you''. grita replied as for once i saw them share a kind word. ''hey natacha. would you know where i can borrow a church organ, or and organ for the show tommorow''. ''a church organ, no what are you planning with it''. ''you'll see tommorow''. ''well let me make some calls and ill see what i can do''. grita nodded as i sat next to her and read the lryics for her new song. ''while my guitar gently weeps''. is that a slow song. ''youll have to wait to hear it tommorow''. she said as i put my arms around her. she smiled at me as she began to refill my cigarette case, just as natacha said ''come on, i want to go to bed, iam so sleepy''. grita winked at me as she said ''go one then off with the 2 of you, ill be up later ok''. i kissed her and said ''dont stay up to late''. ''i wont, ill be up soon i promise''. she said as we both left the room. it must have been 2 am, when she came into the bedroom, i was asleep when she curled up in bed next to me. ''Grita, i told you not to be up so late''. ''shh honey, go back to sleep'' she whispered as i put my arm and leg around her, and she burried her head in my shoulder. i squeezed her tightly. as natacha stirred, Grita giggled and squeezed my arm and kicked her feet on the bed. ''why so happy'' i whispered as she said ''ive just had an idea''. ''go to sleep, and think it over in the morning''. ''hey let me up''. ''no you're here with me now and i'm not letting you go''. i said pulling her closer to me and wrapping the duvet around her. she rested her hand on my arm and closed her eyes. when we awoke the next day at 12 pm, Grita wasnt in bed with us. i got up and went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and read the note that said, ''woke up early and went to rehearsals, see you at the show, kisses and cuddles your sweet angel Grita''. p.s, i made some fresh coffee and churro's. i read as i went over to the stove. ''oh they smell so good grita''. i whispered as natacha staggered into the kitchen, she put her hand over my eyes and said ''guess who''. ''umm claudia, carmen, julita''. i said as she playfully hit me and said ''no who are they''. ''movie characters''. i said as i poured milk into my coffee. ''where did the angel go''. she asked as she looked around as popit came over to me and stood on her hind legs. ''to rehearsals, i cant wait to see how the show is, shes been writting new songs alot for the record, i know everyone will love it''. just then the phone rang. i stood up and herd grita's voice on the other end. ''good morning my lord, sleep well''. ''no i woke up and you had left with out saying goodbye''. i joked as she said ''did you read my note''. ''did you read the back of it''. she asked in a sensual whisper. ''hang on angel, its in my pocket''. i said as i put the phone down for a moment, but i could still here her humming and coughing. ''got it''. ''aha'' i heard her say as i read. p.p.s when i get home, i want us to be alone together tonight, have natacha sleep in the other bedroom''. ''oohhh, tonight's the night huh''. i said as she said ''yes, it is and i promise to be calm and submissive and do whatever you want''. ''will you wear that costume for me angel''. i said as she said ''iam wearing it now''. ''ohhh, well i cant wait, what time do you want us to come down there my love''. ''umm 4 pm, darling is that ok''. ''yes my angel, its fine i shall see you then my love, i love you and becareful ok''. ''i love you too, my lord''. i replied as i heard the knock on the door of the phone booth. i hung up the phone and went back to the kitchen where natacha said ''the angel''. ''yes it was, shes says we shall arrive at 4pm''. ''ok, hey now that were alone i was wondering''. she said as she got closer to me and we started kissing. ''you were saying''. i said as she still got even more closer, and started unbuttoning my shirt. i looked into her eyes for a moment. all i could think bout was grita, in that pink corset. when we were finished and laying in bed i glanced at the clock. ''oh no, its almost 4pm''. i said as i went into the bathroom and cleaned myself off, i combed my hair and put some tonic in it, as i started getting dressed. ''oh my god, shes gonna be so mad, if i miss the opening number''. i said as i prodded natacha. ''come on wake up''. i shouted as i went about the room getting dressed. when we arrived, she was standing backstage watching the crowd, out in the theatre, her and the orchestra and backup singers where all tuning up. ''grita''. i said as i put my arms around her and kissed her passionately as i cupped her face. ''you made it, i was worried there for a minute''. she said as natacha hugged and kissed her. ''you look so cute, my angel''. i said as i squeezed her tightly. ''ok here goes''. she said as she walked out onto the stage. ''hello''. she said into the micro phone and began with may the circle be unbroken, then it happened, the church organ rose us from the stage floor, as she and ben the black piano player started playing a tune i had never heard before. she grabbed the microphone in her hands, as she moved her guitar around her back and began singing so loudly ''well my temperture is rising got my feet on the floor''. then i heard the rift ''gimme sone lovin''. all the kids rose to their feet, and started dancing. ''oh my god''. i heard natacha as i too rose to my feet and started screaming for her. then all the kids hands rose as she moved a little closer to the end of the stage. she caused such a riot a commtion that at the end of the night the police had to come to shut down the show. ''hahahahahaha we got the police to come and shut us down''. she laughed as she spoke on the phone long distance to louella parsons. ''good night lolly''. she then came back and met with us. ''that was louella parsons all the way from new york''. she said as she put her hand on belly, i took her in my arms as we walked back to natacha's buick. when we got home grita put her guitar in its case and her and i went into the bedroom locking natacha out. i heardher huff and go into the other room. ''were finally alone''. grita said as she went to the window. ''i know''. she said as i came up behind her, i put my arms around her waist and said ''let me see the corsett''. she took off her jacket and wrap around dress and showed me the pink corset. ''you look so sexy'' i whispered as i pulled her closer to me. ''you want me''. she asked as i replied ''i want you, i want you so bad''. ''come and get me then''. she said falling backwards onto the bed. ''i'll get you'' i said as climbed onto the bed directly ontop of her, i took her hands in mine and put them over her head pinning her down. i roughly trailed kisses over her face, and neck. she arched her back and moved closer to me, then she rolled over. i grabbed her around her waist and pulled her under me, she started laughing and gigling as i ripped off her corset. she moaned as we thrashed around in the bed. she threw her head back and i pulled her closer to me again. she tried to pull away and i pulled her back. so that my hands were on her hips. we layed on the left side as i pulled her hair back in my hands and gave a hard thrust. she moaned in pain as i squeezed her hips tightly. ''rudy, stop'' she said as i pulled her hair harder, and was now drawing blood from her neck. ''rudy, i like it rough but jees''. she said as i looked into her eyes and thrust harder and harder. she cried out ''please''. as she clawed at my back as our lips met. ''rudy, please i need more'' she said inbetween kisses. i fliped her around on her knees o have her doggie style, again i grabbed her hair, as we melted together. i pulled back hard on her hair, as she leaned forward. ''oh grita, iam going to come''. i said spanking her hard as she ground her hips even harder. ''come on, cum with me''. i said as i squeezed her tighter as we both climaxed in a heap. ''oh grita''. i said strokeing her hair, as she nestled closer to me. ''oh grita i never want us to be apart''. i said casually as i trailed kisses down her arm. ''well thats not up to me my lord'' she replied and dropped her hand from mine. the week had now passed and the 3 of us had grown closer. ''wish me luck you guys ok, ill be back at 5 this evening''. she said helping me put on my watch and suspenders. she kissed me and hugged natacha as she prepared to leave. ''i'll call you in a little bit ok''. she said as she walked out the door. she was going to begin writting her comdic film with roscoe arbuckle, but i didnt know this night would cause such evil. grita arrived at the hotel early at around 10 am, as she walked upstiars and knocked on the door. the door opened there were several men inside the room, including roscoe. when she closed the door she saw jason appear from behind it. ''jason what are you doing here''. ''well well well look what the cat dragged in, Valeria tell me what kind of lover he is''. jason said circleing her, looking her up and down. ''Jason, i didnt know you were going to be here, ''roscoe, come on this is a silly joke right''. she said moving forward closer to him as she looked around at the men. ''no princess it not''. that what he calls you isnt Valeria''. jason said as he took a step forward. he slapped grita hard on the face causing her her to bleed. ''jason please, i think we both know what really happened and we need a change''. ''but kitten you dont understand see, you belong to me i bought you, i bought you to america and if it werent for me you would be with your illerate sister and her rich husband, but no thats not good enough for you, you have to parade bout town with the boy''. he spat madness as Valeria rose up from the floor. ''jason come on isnt their someway we can work this out please''. she asked when he pushed her up against the wall. he then punched her hard in the stomach, she doubled over and fell to the floor. while she was on the floor jason said ''let see how your boy loves you now you evil bitch''. and began drop kicking her. he then grabbed her by her hair, spun her around and threw her into the wall. then he took her into the bedroom and called ''roscoe, come on its your turn''. he came into the room. ''JASON NO PLEASE DONT LET HIM DO THIS''. she screamed loudly as jason tied her to the bed. roscoe took off his jacket and said ''lets play''. ''no no no please''. she screamed as jason walked out the door leaving the 2 of them together. ''please, if you want money, ill give you money roscoe, come on iam your friend were writting this movie together''. ''jason said i could do whatever i want to you''. she said getting on the bed and kissing me. he put his hand around my neck as he undid the button on my trousers. he was pinning me down with his heavy arms on top of me, i couldnt breathe. he ripped my shirt, and put his hand on breast and he pulled down my trousers. he started to touch me and put 2 fingers inside of me ''oh your so tight''. he whispered to me as he turned me on my knees and pulled off my blue khakis. he entered me roughly as i let out a terrible scream. he then picked me up and pulled me hair. ''stop it please''. i said ''when he put his hand over my mouth to muffle my cries. he then turned me around so i was laying on my back and he was kneeling he kept a fast pace, and often leaned down and kissed me. he kept my hans over my heads so that i wouldnt move. then he groaned and climaxed inside of me have gave 2 more thrusts. he then took his handkerchief and cleaned himself off as he left the room. when jason returned he took off his belt. ''jason please''. i said pleading for my life as he untied me. he took me roughly by the arm into the living room. where he began beating me with his belt. i screamed and wept horribly as each blow came down. then he took a handful of my hair and hit my head against the table, i didnt remember anything until. ''right here''. i heard as i awoke to jason through me out of the car. i could see the apartment just up the road. battered and beaten i stagered forward. ''Its been a week natacha, i havent heard from her iam so worried, i swear when she gets b ack iam going to give her a good thrashing with my belt''. he said pacing as he again looked at the clock. ''honey, maybe she's gone for good''. natacha said happily as i came up the walk. it was so dark i could hardly see the door nob with all the blood and hair in my eyes. i carefully turned the nob and fell forward into the house. ''oh my god, grita whats happened''. i asked as she fell into my arms. ''i dont want to talk about it, ok, i just need a bath''. she said getting to her feet and stagering into the bathroom. i followed her as natacha rang for the police. she sat on the floor and ran the taps. there was blood on her face and body. she started undressing, she trembled and hiccuped, as she sobbed. i helpped her with her clothing. then into the tub. she sobbed as i helped her bath and wash her hair. when she was done and dryed off the police arrived. she put on her robe and said ''i dont want to talk about it ok, i just want to go to bed''. she wept more then went off to the bedroom. i went off after her, ''grita please tell me what happened''. i pleaded as i took her into my arms, when she said ''jason did this, he's pure evil''. she whispered still sobbing. i pulled her closer to me, as i saw red. ''tell me where grita, where is he''. i asked as she said ''no, please dont make it worse''. she said as i shook her and said ''where Grita''. ''the ambasador hotel''. she said as i put her carefully on the bed, and left the room. i grabbed my coat and hat. ''natacha you stay with angel, ill be back in a few hours''. ''where are you going'' she said as i walked out the door and slammed it behind me. ''where are you going''. she said as she grabbed my hand as i replied ''iam going to kill him''. ''no rudy, please let the police handle it, they know what they are doing honey you dont''. i hesitated, as i pulled away. when i returned i found natacha at the bedroom door. ''shes locked herself in their and wont come out, and i heard glass shatter''. she said as she moved from the door, i knocked softly and said ''grita, my angel iam back are you alright''. i then went into the kitchen where i kept the master keys, i then took the key and unlocked the door. where i found grita under the table, her eyes wide and she was uncontrolably shaking. ''darling, i am here now everything is going to be ok''. i said reaching under the table and pulling her out. i held her in my arms for a few minutes, as the tears flowed so freely, from her eyes as she shook hysterically. i caressed her hair as i moved her onto the bed. the next day however brought a little happier news. i was reading the newspaper, and grita and natacha both were playing canasta. the phone rang at 1:21 pm, ''i'll get it''. grita said as she rose from the table just next to me and went over to the phone. ''hello'' ''yes this is ms. moreno, what can i do for you''. ''hahaha really, well thank you so much, i would love to''. she said as i put the newspaper down to here what she was saying. ''yes yes, i can be at warner , tommorow at 8 am sharp, bye bye now''. she said as she hung up the phone and said ''well that was warner brothers, they want to start production on penny dreadful, right away oh my god i cant wait''. she said jumping into my arms as i spun her around, ''oh wait there is more, you both can make cameo's in the film, i love you'' she said kissing me and putting a gentle hand on natacha's shoulder. ''oh ammore mio''. i said carressing her cheeck. she smiled at me and melted into my arms. she then lit a cigarette, and said ''i think we should have a bottle of champainge''. she said going into the kitchen and opening a fresh bottle and pouring all of us a drink she said ''here's to good luck and fortune''. she said as we all clinged glasses. i was dressing for bed, as was natacha and grita, grita put on my favorite pair of her pink ruffled panites, and her black and white stripey tank top. i watched sensually as she dressed, smiled at me as she watched me in the mirror. ''you like''. she said as i replied, ''i like it alot my love''. she smiled as she picked up her cigarette and exhaled sensually in the mirror, as i quickly snapped the photo. ''hey''. she said playfully hitting me as natacha layed in *our bed*. grita looked at her for a moment, before she strode off into the living room. ''rudy, come on darling, come lay with me'' natacha said as she pulled me onto the bed with her. she started kissing me, then stroked my chest. a few minutes later i was completely undressed and really uncorftable as i wanted to see grita who i could just hear in the kitchen, dropping some pans and things. i stopped for a moment to listen put then natacha pulled me back into her embrace as she went down on me. several hours later as i layed smoking a cigarette in bed and grita returned to the bedroom, she layed down next to me under the duvet. she smiled at me and said ''did you have fun, did you fuck her'' she said in contempt. i couldnt lie to my angel as i said ''yes i did''. she simply said ''good night rudy''. she kissed my cheeck then rolled over on her left side and turned off the lamp. i sighed as i put my arm and leg around her. she didnt like it when i was intimate with natacha. it was around 3 am, i was ravenous i started kissing grita. ''get off me'' she spat as i looked at her puzzled, ''i wont make love to you, after you slept with her, now go to bed'' she said as she pulled the duvet up over her farther. she teased me so bad for a whole week, wearing revealing clothes and going to bed naked. but finally as the weekend approached and we packed to head for villita to visit with violet, lola, and joquin. grita dressed quickly that morning as she went about the apartment making sure she had everything, when i woke up i heard her and natacha arguing in the living room. i rubbed my eyes as i called to grita. ''grita''. ''yes, darling ill be there in a minute''. she called back to me as i threw off the duvet and shuffled across the room. i pulled open the door, to see grita wearing a pink chiffon dress, with a dark red bow tied around her waist. i took a deep breath, she looked so beautiful. she smiled at me as she rubbed up against me passing into the bedroom, to get the little teddy bear from the wardrobe. ''ready to go darling'' she said as i yawned and said ''no not yet babe, i have to get dressed''. ''ok then, iam off now ill meet you at villita''. she said slinging her jacket over her shoulder as she went to the door. she hadent even been at villita for 10 minutes when i arrived. the children and her where all out back in the pool. i opened the back door to see grita happy and smiling as she pushed violet into the pool. ''hi darling'' she said as she waved at me. lola ran over to me and said ''rudy i missed you, i painted you a picture''. ''did you really''. i said kissing her cheeck as she said ''yes its inside grite, put it on the icebox''. then she went back over to grita who was sitting on the lawn chair. in her robe which was covering her swim suit. she waved me over as lola jumped into the pool and grita threw her the inflatable raft. ''hey baby'' i said as i knelt before her and gave her a rough kiss as i grabbed her wrists. she pulled away from me, and took off her robe. she then slid into the pool and started throwing violet around. violet gigled so loud as i dived in on the oppisite end of the pool. then i came up behind her and put my arms around her waist and squeezed her tightly. ''can you feel me'' i asked, as she idily said ''yeah''. then she moved away from me again while she picked up joaquin and was soothing him, because he accidently drank the water from the pool. ''are you alright daddy''. she said patting him on his back as she sat with him on the edge of the pool. she looked up at me and could tell i was getting more frusterated and upset with her as the moments passed. she gave me a look of comtempt as i thought of my next move. miriah then came out and ushered all the kids inside the house to clean them up and make sure the ate. thats when i got ut of the pool, and went after grita who was now tieing her robe. she was about to go inside when i went and grabbed her really hard by the forarm. i took her into the guest house which was hidden behind the pool house and completely out of ear shot. ''stop it youre hurting me''. ''good, its been a week, and youve done nothing but tease me, you wont even talk to me, well now were alone and youre gonna listen and listen carefully''. she looked at me and said ''i am not going to listen to anything, i already said my piece on the evil woman and you still brought her into our home and lives, if that what you want then so be it but dont expect for me to ever be intimate with you again''. she said pushing past me as she walked to the door. i grabbed her hard again by the wirst and threw her to the floor and said '' i think the world of you and you know that, i love you so much and yet you clearly dont see it natacha is just our friend and has our best intrests at heart''. i said as she spat out the blood and wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeve, ''if what her game is what you call your intrests, then maybe your better off with her''. she said getting to her feet as i asked ''what are you saying''. ''i am saying if you cant see through her then maybe you both deserve each other, i mean after all three is a crowd'' she said moving toward the door, i blocked the door and said ''no your are my girl, weve been together for 6 months i love you and want to be with you''. she folded her arms and looked out the window. ''you dont really love me'' she whispered, ''you're just like everyone else, you only take what you want from me then throw me away, turn me out into the streets i can see it comming'' she whipered, he words angered me, ''thats not true and you know it''. i spat as i turned around and casually said ''i dont know what is true anymore''. i closed my eyes for a moment, i was so enraged and trying to maintain control. then she said it ''tonight when you leave, please dont say goodbye to me, as i wont be here, i shall send for me things at weeks end i think we would be more harmonius apart''. it was at those harsh words i did the unimaginable, i slapped her so hard she grabbed the curtains and fell backwards on to the cold marble floor. the curtains fell ontop of her as i waited for a moment before i went to her. ''i knew it was just a matter of time befor you struck me, now i want you out'' she said as she came at me she pushed me as i took a step back and grabbed her arm hard and put on her her knees. ''get out'' she screamed as i dragged her into the bedroom. when i threw her into the bed and took off my belt. ''get away from me, your crazy'' she said as she startedd moving backweards as i grabbed her around the middle and threw her back into the bed. i climbed into the bed with her and pinned her beneath me. she screamed so loud as i tried to calm her. ''please somebody help me, hes gone crazy'' she said as i clamped my hand down over her mouth and said ''be quiet, we have to talk about this you just cant leave me like this''. ''i can do whatever i'd like you dont own me, and iam not your wife''. she said sarcasticly as she tried to wriggle free from my grasp. i held onto her tightly as she then went limp in my arms. i looked down at her for a moment as i let her go. as managed to run to the door and struggled with it for a moment while i realized what was happening she had just gotten to the front door when she started screaming hysterically again. this time i picked her up in my arms as she kicked and screamed for me to get out and leave her alone. i took her back into the bedroom, and locked the door i began kissing her roughly and grabbed tightly as she tried to pull away. i took a deep breath and pulled her even tighter as i said harshly ''dont fight me, or i swear i will hurt you''. she started to scratch me as i pulled her arm away and twisted it so she went back onto the bed where i began to rip off her robe. she went backwards as i then grabbed the straps of her swim suit. i pulled it off in a quick jerk so she was now completely naked beneath me. ''get off me'' she cried as i now began to quickly undress. ''hush''. i said sternly as i spanked her hard, i looked in her eyes as i saw them glaze over with tears. then i went forward and roughly bit her neck. she again screamed as i kissed her neck and ran my free hand over it as it held her small wrists in my left hand just over her head. i looked down into her face and eyes again, as i roughly spread her legs with my knee. i reached down a free hand and roughly inserted 2 fingers inside of her. she screamed in pain as i moved around inside of her, looked at me with her eyes pleading as i bit her neck again this time drawing blood. she threw her head back and started whimpering again as i spanked her harder and said ''hush now''. then i positioned my self on top of her and gave a vicious thrust into her as she let out a ghastly scream, i slapped her hard and gave another hard vicious thrust to quiet her. as i was overtaken with passion and thrust harder and harder and faster and faster she cried and whimpered as she succombed to her fate. the day turned into night as my hatred turned once again to passion, grita had gone quiet as i looked down at her, she was still weeping silently as i climxed hard and gave one last vicious thrust and released myself inside of her, when i collapsed ontop of her and kissed her again. she quickly moved to her left side and wrapped herself in the duvet, i sat up on the edge of the bed panting in exhaustion trying to forget the terrible things i had just done to my angel. then i looked over at her, then again at myself and noticed i had blood all over me and it was now all over the bed. i looked over at grita who was still weeping quietly and then i went around to her side of the bed, i threw back the duvet as she moved to the middle of the bed. ''oh god'' i whispered as i saw all the blood all over her and on the clean white sheet, i sank down to the floor with my head on my knees and took a deep breath as i began to cry. i must have cried for about an hour because when i got back to my feet grita was asleep on the bed and i was still on the floor. i then said ''grita wake up now''. i gently shook her as she whimpered again as her eyes fluttered open. she looked at me puzzled as i said ''come on, ill help you into the bath''. i said as i picked her up in my arms and ran the taps in the bathtub. i sat her on the edge of the tub for a moment as i took the towel from the rack and wipped the blood off her face and eyes. then i carefully put her in the tub as i checked the water and asked ''is it too hot angel''. ''no'' she whispered as i then took the soap from the rack and began scrubbing her. then i said ''here hang on to this for a moment my love, iam going to take off the bed linens'' she nodded as i went into the other room, and began stripping the bed. i did this carefully so that the matress underneath wouldnt stain. once they were replaced i went back into the bathroom. i took the rag from grita and finished helpping her bathe. then i turned on the shower and told her to lean forward a little to wash the blood out of her hair. once we had finished as i dried her off, i wrapped her robe back around her and took her back into the bedroom. i made her sit down in the chair so i could fully examine her, i saw all the brusies on her neck and abdomen, the bite marks on her neck, her red face from where i slapped her, the black eye from where i had tried to punch her but she moved. ''grita'' i whispered as she looked down at me trying to cover her back, ''let me see it'' i said as i moved around the chair looking at the awfal brusies on her back, then i saw the brusies on her forarm, wrists and between her legs. ''oh grita'' i said as i began to tear, i rested my head in her lap, as she placed and gentle hand on my head and said '' i had it comming''. ''no grita, i was blinded by lust and hatred''. i said as i took her hand and squeezed it gently. then i took her back into my arms and carried her back to the bedroom. i carefully layed her on the bed as i got in next to her, i pulled the duvet over us and put my arms around her. the next morning we were both awaken by violet and lola who had jumped in bed with us. i took lola in my arms and rested her in my lap. *i was in my bathrobe and completely covered* ''what are you doing''. i asked as violet was shaking grita, ''wake up come on grita, i want you to make me som pancakes''. she said as grita moaned and took violets arm and said ''not right darling i dont feel very good''. ''are you sick, ill get you some tea'' violet said as she put her small hand on grita's forhead and said ''you're really hot, ill be back with the tea, i love you'' she said kissing her big sister on the cheeck as she grabbed lola's hand and ran out of the room. i went over to her side of the bed to check on her, i knelt before her and said ''whats wrong my love''. ''i dont feel well''. she said as she placed her hand on her stomach, i looked at her for a moment and said ''whats wrong darling''. '' i have terrible cramps dear, and a migrain to boot, just need to lay down for a while''. she said as i kissed her cheeck and took her hand and said ''can i get you anything''. ''just some cigarettes''. she said as i went to the cigarette box and grabed the lighter off the table in the guest house. i came back into the room to see her move to duvet back, i helped her sit up straight in bed and lit a cigarette for her. then a few seconds later she said to me '' oh god, can you go into the main house and get me some morphine pills in the downstairs bathroom''. ''are you sure you want me to go''. i asked as she nodded. when i got back i found her in the bathroom, vommiting in the toilet. ''oh god, iam so sick'' she said as i knelt beside her and said ''tell me what youre feeling''. ''everything is tender to the touch, my breasts are sore, i feel so naucious, and my stomach is cramping so much, i felt like this for a while now''. she said as i replied ''how long''. ''umm 2 months now''. she said as i placed a gentle hand on her back and said ''i'll have miriah ring for the doctor''. when the doctor arrived, i carried grita to the main house, and he requested the 3 of us be in a private room. ''grita, well i need to to fill this please'' he said handing her a small plasitc jar, grita raised an eyebrow as the doctor gave her a look. ''ok ill be right back then''. she said as i looked over at the doctor not quite sure what was happening. when grita returned she handed the small jar back to the doctor who said, '' i should have some news for you in a few days''. he said putting the kar in his bag, he made for the door and took off, in a hurry. i looked down at her for a moment before i said ''what just happened''. ''well he asked for a sample, which i guess he run a few tests on then i should know in a few days''. she said as i looked at her unsure. ''ill explain it to you in detail later'' she said as another bought of nausea over took her, i moved out of the way as she went to the bathroom. the week went by so slowly grita was getting sicker and sicker and would hardly leave the bedroom, when the doctor called upon her, she casually went to the phone. ''yes doctor, i see, thank you so much'' she said as she hung up the phone and went back into the bedroom. i followed her and closed the door, so natacha wouldnt hear us. ''is everything alright''. i asked calmly as i sat down preparing for the worst. ''yes, why wouldnt it be'' she said, i listened to the tone of her voice and her pitch. she was talking in a low horse voice. ''right now is not the time my darling, when the time is right i shall tell you''. she said as she just left me shocked and surprised but still worried all the same. so i watched her closely for the next few days, she became sicker and weaker, she wouldnt eat. had a hard time sleeping and fumes bothered her. natacha also watched her, but i gathered she new a little bit more then i did because on the night she got the call from the doctor, i heard natacha say, ''that bitch i cannot believe her''. i had been keeping her very close to me and watching everything she did, she mostly stayed in bed and tried to read or listen to the radio, but it was mostly no use as she was still naucious and so sick. ''come on baby please drink some tea''. i asked of her as i helped her sit up in bed. she was so hot and sweaty, and just sitting up made her sick to her stomach. she drank a little bit of the hot tea, as i said ''you want to sit outside with me and get some fresh air''. ''ok, but you'll have to help me''. she said as i handed her, her brush to brush her long hair which was untidy and unkempt. i took her hand and helped her out of bed, then i lead her outside on the terrace where natacha was sitting outside reading the latest editon of movie weekly. ''hi angel, you feeling better''. natacha said as she took her hand, grita pulled it away and nodded no. i handed her the saucer of tea, and conviced her to have another drink. when we went back inside and i took her back into the bedroom. grita had a hard time falling asleep. she fell asleep as 6 pm then woke up at 1 dazed and confused, i had to re orient her and remind her she was ok and with me. that morning as we sat in the living room together she told me those 2 small words that changed my life forever. she rested her head in my lap as i stroked her hair, ''how are you feeling my love, a little bit better''. ''no'' she said weekly as she said ''rudy, theres something i have to tell you, and i cant think of a better time''. she said as she sat up to look at me, wearing her powder blue kimono, she said ''rudy iam pregnant''. shocked i looked at her for a moment and said ''you mean a baby, were going to have a baby''. ''yes my lord''. she said as i took her up in my arms and said ''why didnt you tell me sooner''. ''because my love, its now in the second trimester, and everything will go alright''. she said as i cuddled her tightly in my arms. i looked down at her and could see her small swell forming where the baby would be. ''oh my god, a baby'' i said as i undid the straps of the kimono and put my hand on her small bump. she smiled at me as we were listening to the radio. a few minutes later when natacha entered the house again she said ''don't expect me to have any part of being with the baby''. the 2 of us just looked at her i didnt care. the 4 horsemen of the apocolypse was just about to be released, as we began prduction on the sheik, grita was now 5 months gone and natacha was designing our coustumes. grita was feeling well enough to join me on the set as i wouldnt have it any other way. i told her to make sure the grita's costume hid her bump and that she didnt have to sit down to much as it would show, we tried to keep our baby a secret for a little while til the baby arrived as i knew how sick grita was and didnt want to be bothered. i stepped on the set already dressed in my costume and i took grita's hand and lead her to the small bed that was in *the sheiks bedroom* , i sat her down on the bed and knelt before her. ''how are you feeling today my love''. ''a lit better darling''. she said carressing my face, as she moved backwards to lay on the bed. i kissed her roughly as i whispered ''my kisses, are so passionate and loving today as i dream of the night we can again be together''. i said as i rested my hand on her bump. the director came in to the set as he smiled and said ''hey you 2, ive been looking for you, have you met agnes'' he asked as she looked down at grita, and said ''oh wow look at you, when is baby due''. ''in may, i think'' grita said as she smiled at me. ''i bet your excited daddy to be, tell me have you already decorated the nursery''. grita sat up overwhelmed and said ''yes infact when i told him, it all arrived the next day, and i expect this baby will have a smooth entery''. as we filmed in the hottest part of the winter in nevada desert, natacha couldnt cope with the heat, and the air still made grita sicker. when we returned back home in late april, grita was starting to feeling even more weaker as the midwife came to join us. on may 1st labor began, and was prgressing slowly. i sat with her everyday, as the contractions started on the night of the 5th, they progressed slowly and it seemed the baby would be here on the 6th. finally the morning of the 6th i had fallen asleep as she too tried to sleep during the night, the contraction were so intense, i was awaken by her ghastly scream, then i heard a few clicks then his cry. i opened my eyes and looked up to see the midwife, who was cleaning the baby in the basin. ''congradulations daddy you have a son'' she said as she handed me the newly cleaned baby, he was wriggling in my arms as i brushed away a tear. i looked down at grita who was now asleep blissfully, as the midwife said ''the ambulance will arrive in a fewminutes''. ''ambulance'' i said as she replied ''yes yes yes not to worry dear, just to make sure everything went smoothly and to register the little one''. she said putting a gentle hand on his head and asked ''have you decided on his name''. ''he's to be named after his father''. i heard grita say as she woke up. i looked back at her as she replied, ''he is to be name after his father, as they now share the same birthday happy birthday my love'' she said as i came and sat beside her on the bed. Rodolfo Guggliemi Valentino was born on may 6th 1921 at 10:30 am, in hollywood california. the headline read as myself and grita came home from the hospital on the 10th, grita held the baby as i helpped her into the house. she carefully sat on the couch as i gave her the newspaper. ''blast that louella parsons''. she said as she smiled down at yankee. ''oh give him here to me my love''. i said as she carefully handed me the baby then went to the kitchen. natacha was in the back bedroom. ''damn now shell always be number 1 and so will her brat, damn her'' she whispered as she came out of the bedroom and said ''oh look at him he looks just like you rudy''. she said looking down at the baby as grita pushed the pram into the room. grita and i grew closer during this time. ''rudy you know the sheik and the 4 horsemen are number 1 and the grils are going nuts over you''. she put the baby in the pram as we had dinner, natacha was angry ''now they will be bound to each other forever, and there is nothing i can do about it''. she said to her mother on the telephone then said her goobyes as i walked into the room. ''hi natacha what are you up to'' i asked as grita had taken the baby to the dr for his first checkup, i couldnt bare to go as i didnt want to see him get examined. natacha kissed me and said ''nothing much did the angel and yankee already leave'' she said getting closer to me as i heard the door slam. ''yes i expect them back shortly''. i replied as she leaned forward and started kissing me, i was entranced until i saw grita walk past the open door. i stopped a moment and took natacha hand off me as grita came in the room, she was grinning from ear to ear, ''iam going for a swim loves, keep an eye on the baby won't you'' she said winking at me, as she again disappeared into the other bedroom. a few moments later she appeared again, this time she was smoking a cigarette and got into bed with us. i leaned in and kissed her as i put my hand between her leg. she smiled at me as we passed around the cigarette, ''so what is going on, did i interupt something''. she said in between my kisses. ''perfect timing as usual''. natacha said as she moved my face toward hers kissing me. ''ohh well in that case, ill just grab my bathing suit and leave you 2 alone''. she said with one last kiss as she got up and went off to the bathroom. ''now where were we my darling''. she said as i again caught sight of valeria in her skin tight bathing suit and wearing my robe. i watched her for a moment as she went to the pool. she layed down at the edge of the pool and turned on the radio and layed down. she was very content and comfy. when she returned later inside the house me and natacha had finished being *intimate* and i was back in our bedroom when she walked in. her long hair was dripping wet as she shuffled into the bedroom drying her hair. ''is yankee still sleeping'' she said moving the towel from her face as she stood before dripping wet. ''yes'' i said in awe of her as she moved about the room. a few minutes later once she came back to stand in front of me as she changed she announced. ''iam going to jump in the shower for a few minutes keep and ear out for the baby ok'' she said as she came forward and kissed my cheeck. i smiled and said ''hurry back my love, i have something i to tell you''. ''alright'' she said as she went off to the bathroom. a few moments i heard yankee in the next room crying, ''oh my sweet boy''. i said picking him up from his crib into my arms as i grabbed his bottle from the fridge. i took him back into our bedroom as i saw grita emerge from the shower. ''oh is he awake now'' she asked casually as i said ''yes my love, ive got him him hes alright''. she smiled at me and said ''i see that, iam gonna get dressed now''. she said getting her jammies from under our pillows and changing in front of me. when she was finished and already dressed, she came and got in bed with me and yankee. she kissed the babies forhead and then kissed me as she said ''he's really starting to look like you''. she said looking down at him as she rested a gentle hand on my leg as i fed him. i smiled and said ''of course, but he has your eyes''. she smiled at me as she lit a cigarette. then she said in a low whisper ''hey did you find out bout the lion cub yet''. she said as she saw natacha pass. ''yes but i dont know yet, not with baby and everything''. i replied as she said, ''i think it would be alright''. so when zela the lioness cub arrived natacha took to her as if she were a baby. she taught zela how to stand on her hind legs and pat her head. grita too loved zela, in some way they felt close, i mean she was natacha's but you would hardly ever tell because zela was always with grita. ''come on now zela sit down'' she said as she put the baby on the blanket on the floor, beside her natacha and zela. at this time i snapped a few pictures of all of them playing, then i told grita it was time to take a few more pictures of her in a few costumes i designed myself. i set up the secenery in the backyard as she put the baby in his pram. i helped her into her first costume, a red velvet ball gown, i told her to just pose how ever she wanted and be comfy and lay on a few couch cushions, i had layed out for her. i decided to shoot by the pool as the pool gave off great light. she opened her arms and sprawled out on the cushions, she looked straight at me as i took the first few pictures then she knelt on her knees and pulled the dress up in her hands so that it look like she was a doll. then all of a sudden she fell forward into the pool as i kept photographing her, she put her arms out and floated to the top, looking as if she were dead. then she turned around so i could see her face as zela ran out and jumped into the pool, right next to her. zela became frantic and grabbed grita by the dress sleeve and pulled her to the edge of the pool. ''shhhh zela its alright, iam alright'' she said as natacha ran out to the pool and said '' grita are you alright''. ''yes, iam alright i just jumped into the pool, did you get the shot''. grita asked as she came over towards me, i was white as a ghost as i took her wrist and said ''don't ever do that again, you really scared me''. she looked down at me for a moment and knelt before me and said '' iam sorry i was only''. ''its alright''. i said kissing her as i held my beating heart, as i feared she may have hurt herself cos she dove into the shallow end of the pool. she took my hand and said ''really i am alright''. ''come on then lets get you out of the dress''. i said as we went into the pool house, ''here this one is next''. ''this look like a potato sack''. she said as she looked at the dress. ''i think it was''. ''very funny'' she said as she took it off the hanger and tried it on. ''you do know my lord, your only getting a few pictures in the costume it really is ridiculous''. ''i know but i like it''. ''well if you like it then my love, i like it too''. she said as she winked at me, i did take a few pictures as she moved around the pool and on the ground next to it. then the next costume a pink corsetted dress with feathers and a matching headress was next. ''ohh i like this one, but you'll have to help me into it''. she said as we were back in the pool house. ''with pleasure my love''. i said as i kissed her passionatly, she gigled as i told her to hold on to the beams. she grabbed the beam, and held it tightly as i helped her into the corset. ''are you ready iam going to tighten it''. i said as i pulled the strings back very hard. she gulped and said ''oh my god''. she held tightly onto the beam as i tied the back of the corset. ''are you alright my love'' i asked as she gasped and said ''i am i supposed to breathe in this costume''. ''i dont think so''. ''then its perfect'' she said as i laughed and said ''you wont be wearing it that much longer''. ''oh really'' she said as i knelt in front of her, as i layed out the mirror to apply her makeup. ''who would have thought, my lover helps me with my makeup'' she giggled as she leaned forward and kissed me. ''don't tell anyone my love this is just for you and me''. ''i wont'' she said with a sly grin on her face. ''oh here one more hting'' i said as i lit a cigarette and put it on a cigarette holder. ''there you are my love now, i want you to be as sensual as possible''. i said as she smiled and said ''alright''. she posed with her arms open and pulled the front of the dress down showing more of her cleavage. ''yes that good grita more of that''. she grinned slyly as she pulled the front off the dress upwards and spread her legs. ''grita''. i said as she then leaned forward and started crawling towards me like a cat. she dropped her head sensually and started licking her lips. when she got to me she pushed me backwards so that i was laying on the ground. she was on top of me and just stared at me for a moment. then she leaned down and kissed me. ''you like that daddy'' she purred as i started unlacing the corset. without breaking eye contact she undid my belt and sensually threw in it to the pool, and again leaned forward kissing me. then she unbuttoned my shirt and unzipped my slacks. i breathed carefully for a moment, i liked this. as she pulled open my shirt she trailed her sweet kisses down my chest and abdomen. ''ohhh grita''. ''shhh''. she said as she ran her hand over my lips as i hungerly licked them. ''i'm in control'' she whispered as i watched her carefully pull down my trousers, as she trailed her kisses down words, i was suddenly taken a back when she took me into her mouth and started sucking me. '''ooohhhh grita''. i moaned as i to to stop her, as i really didnt like this position but, it felt so good comming from her. ''sshhh my lord''. she said as she clawed at me chest as i was over taken by an intense orgasm. then i grabbed her by her shoulders and turned her around so that she was pinned beneath me, i put her hands over her head and held them there as i roughly kissed her. ''oh my lord are you upset with me'' she said sensually as i grabbed her legs and entered her roughly. ''oohhh my god''. she cried out as i thrust harder. ''no iam not upset''. i whispered to her as we kissed and kissed some more. then i took her into my arms and put both of us in a kneeling position and turned her around so that we were back to back as i thrust and played her with clit, she cried out loudly as she threw her head back in my shoulders and i kissed her wildly. then i squeezed her around the middle which caused her to cry out even louder and lean forward a little bit so that we were doing it doggy style. which really got me going. ''aye mommie your so tight'' i whispered as she ground her hips and arched her back whipping her hair in my face, i grabbed it and pulled it back really hard so that she cried out a little more, as i spanked her roughly. she moaned loudly as she said ''oh god iam going to loose control, make me cum''. she cried out as i roughly grabbed her hips and said ''just a few more minutes my love iam almost there''. i thrust harder and harder as i then said ''oh god, iam gonna cum''. i leaned down and kissed her sweet lips as i gave a few more thrust then released myself inside of her. ''ohh grita'' i said skaing as i collapsed ontop of her. hours must have passed, because when we both looked around the pool was lit and it was now dark. we both looked at each other as we lit a cigarette, ''i cant believe how fast the time went by''. she said as i rose to my feet and pulled her up with me, the house was dark and quiet as zela greeted us at the door. i carefully snuck into the nursery to look in on the baby who was sleeping soundly, then we went back to our bedroom and went to sleep for the night. the next morning was calm and quiet so we slept in, at the crack of dawn, grita opened the window cos the room was warm and hot. we were both awaken by the sounds of screaming as we heard zela in the front yard. grita and i raced to the door and then out into the front yard where zela was bitting a mans pant leg and ripping it to shreds. natacha, and grita both ran over to the man as i watched knowing full well who this man was, grita and natacha grabbed zela. natacha scowled at zela and said ''go back inside''. then they both looked at the man and said ''were so sorry, are you ok, what can we help you with''. ''grita moreno''. the man said as grita replied ''yes''. ''are you involved with that man, there''. grita looked back at me confused for a second and said ''yes why''. ''is that Rudolph Valentino''. ''yes''. grita said ''and miss are you natacha rambova''. ''yes'' natacha replied as the man said ''their over here''. then all of a sudden a hole bunch of police came out of every direction and the 3 of us were all arrested on the spot''. grita screamed as they put us all in seperate cars, she called out for miriah to look after the baby and tred to reach out for me, i managed to break away from the police and threw my arms around her as they again seperated us and put us all in the back of their awaiting cars. grita was interogated first ''what is your name''. the man asked as she said ''Margarita Valencia Moreno''. ''is all this information correct''. he asked as he looked over her vitals. ''you are correct when you say your birthdate is JUNE 23, 1906'' ''yes sir'' she said as he dropped the file in front of her and said ''all right then youre free to go''. she waited patiently in the lobby for a minute when she saw natacha come out and take her into her arms. ''are you ok grita''. she asked as she kissed grita's forhead and said ''where rudy, is he comming out''. ''i dont know'' grita said as she saw the man go into another room. ''Rudolph Valentino, the newest movie star, i have seen that film and i dont see it why all the girls are going crazy over you''. the man said as he know responded ''you have been charged with bigamy, pedophilia and statory rape, so before you say anything i want you to know i will prosecute you to the fullest extent''. ''well go on ahead and do your worst man, but those other charges are completely false, i have never ever done anything to anyone that wasnt consenual''. ''oh really well then take a look at this then sir, because i dont know how they do things in italy but this is un exceptable''. he threw the information in front of me and said ''look here at your girfriends birthday, yes that is right 15 years old, i also know the 2 of u have a child together, and iam live in this world too so the act in which this child was concieved is rape, and i will prosicute you''. ''there must be some mistakei know this isnt true grita is not 15''. he said as the man replied ''well i thought you may say that so i got a copy of her birth certificate, if you will look right there sir, its clear as day''. ''i want to see grita, then i want my laywer''. i said as the man said ''ok, johnny get the girl''. *johnny* went into the lobby and grabbed grita, he dragged her into another room and said ''wait here, valentino wants to see you''. grita took a deep breath she knew what was about to happen next. she sat quietly with her head in her hands as she leaned forward. then the door opened and the man named *johnny* led rudy into the room in handcuffs. grita went to him she put her arms around him and said ''oh my love, iam so sorry, i hate to see you like this''. rudy didnt move then he asked loudly ''is it true grite'', grita new what he was about to say but lied when she asked ''is what true my lord''. ''grita dont play innocent with me, i need to know is it true what there saying''. she looked at him for a moment, then said ''well if its about jason then yes its true''. rudy went over to her and said ''damn it grita, no thats not what i am talking about, iam asking your age how old are you really''. he shouted in her face as she began to cry, and moved back. ''rudy, i am sorry i didnt tell you but does age really matter''. he came closer to her as he screamed ''it matters when i about to be charged with statatory rape''. she sniffed loudly and moved back farther and said '' iam so sorry, but yes its true i am 15''. ''oh grita''. he said as he too began to cry, ''do you know how much trouble i am in, this could ruin us''. he said as she sank to the floor and said 'i didnt think it would cause so much trouble thats why i tried to hide it from you''. ''grita''. i said as she moved out of the way, and said ''i will contact the laywer, then i shall take yankee and retreat to the villita and shall remain grita moreno your angel''. she said as she walked out of the room hysterically in tears. ''grita'' i said as she left the police station with natacha. i didnt want her to go. when my laywer arrived and informed me that i would have to spend 3 days in jail and pay jean a one time alimony payment, i didnt care all i asked was ''have you seen grita, is she well''. ''iam afraid not man, shes gone back to villita with the kid, and miriah said she isnt taking any calls or visitors, miriah also said she slit her wirsts and cried all night''. ''oh man, i miss her, i really want to see her, will you see to it that she comes to the hearing, i want to see her and hold her in my arms, i still love her and want to be with her''. i said as the laywer said ''are you sure''. ''yes''. ''i cant get these other 2 charges dropped but the bigamy thing jean wont drop, you need to give her the alimony payment and have done with her, she was the one that did this u know''. grita was sitting alone in villita when she looked out the window and saw a mysterious car drive away she knew imiediatly it was jean. ''miriah''. she called out as she ran quickly down the stairs in her long sleeved shirt. ''look after yankke will you iam going out'' she said narowly eyeing the door, ''oh miss, but please be careful''. grita knocked hard on the door, no one was home. she walked around the house for a few moments when she saw the bedroom window was open, she carefully climbed up and peeked inside no one was home yet. i climbed up into the window and hid behind the open door as i heard the car pull up, laughter then i heard a voice i knew, it was natacha ''oh my god the look on his face was priceless, i mean when the detective told him how old she was wow, i couldnt have planned that moment better myself, now my lover where were we''. i pushed the door open so that i was in plain sight. ''hello natacha, jean'' i said in a low husky voice. ''grita when did you get here''. said as i went forward and slapped her hard, and said '' i knew it, both of you were in it together i should have know''. i said as i carefully strode out the front door and said ''this is the last time jean i ever want to see you again''. when i got back to villita rudy's laywer was waiting for me. ''grita please he wants you to come, he wants to see you to know how you are doing i told him bout the susicide attempt''. ''that is not of your concern i slit my wrist and neck nothing more''. i replied and then i said when is the hearing and when can i see him. ''any time, and its on friday''. he said as he put a gentle hand on my shoulder then wrote down the information, then i looked at the information as i put my hair back in a pony tail, and then went down the stairs, i quickly left the house and went to the jail house. i walked right up to the front desk and said ''grita moreno for Rudolph Valentino''. the man was about to get a huge scandal if he wanted one and if i didnt get back there to see my rudy. he said nothing to me as i didnt wait for a respond and just went ahead and walked into the cell, the men whistled at me and called out to me as i walked past them rudy was in the last cell on my left. rudy was laying down and looking up at the celing, as i watched for a moment, he was nuttering something as he brushed away a tear, i hesitated for a moment as i was about to turn back around and walk out he caught sight of me and grabbed my wrist from inside the cell, then the gaurd opened the door and pushed me inside. he pulled up the long sleeve of my shirt and said ''why grita, why''. i pulled my arm away from him and said ''i dont have an answer for you, i was so melancholy and disappointed'' i replied as he took my in his arms and held me tightly i closed my eyes as i let go and said ''iam sorry, but i will be at the hearing tommrow, and when you come home i will be there, but if you dont want to be with me i understand''. i took her into my arms and gave her a passionate kiss and said ''we will talk about that when i get back home, ok but remember how much i love you, and dont do this ever again''. he said as he pulled the collar back from my neck. he saw the self inflicted scars on my neck. he again took me in his arms and kissed me. as i walked back out the door. i couldnt bring myself to go to the hearing, i was so upset and disappointed with everything i had seen, and just witnessed with natacha and jean i couldnt see straight so i went back to villita. i listen to the hearing on the radio, i heard his voice and i could tell he was upset, maybe it was over me. maybe it was the situation maybe it just wasnt meant to be. he was realised after serving 3 days in jail, he had to pay jean a 12,000 alimony payment and she would retain his name. *god damn bitch* i muttered to myself as the verdict was read. i lit a cigarette as i sat in the kitchen of villita with miriah and willetta going bout the kitchen preparing for lunch. ''shhh miriah''. i said as i leaned forward and tried to listen. i listened carefully as they interviewed him outside the courthouse. one reporter asked ''what do you have to say, if any rudy''. ''i just want to say i still love her and we will be together even if it cant be here in hollywood''. i sat back in my chair, for a moment then i rose to my feet and turned off the radio. ''miriah iam not really hungry, i shall come down later for a snack maybe, i shall retire now''. i said as i carefully walked out of the kitchen, down the small coridor to the stairs. as i walked up the stairs i thought bout what i had heard on the radio and i wondered how he looked and dressed for the event. as i pushed open the door in my room and went to the window that over looked the pool, i thought of the photos we had taken a few nights back and how we made love under the stars and how good he felt breathing on my neck, but now it was all over and i feel terrible. i took a deep breath and exhaled as i put out the cigarette in the ashtray. i went over to the curtains and drew them, i wanted to be in darkness. i went over and layed on the bed for a little while just staring at the ceiling, as i wondered what rudy was up too. ''grita, grita my angel iam home''. he said as he ran through the house opening all the doors as he called out her name. the apartment was empty, all except for natacha who came out of the other room and said ''shes not here rudy, iam sorry''. upset he went into his room, he layed down on the bed and began to weep hysterically. ''rudy dear come off it, its best you see her true colours now then when the really trouble happens''. she said as she put her arm on my shoulder and kissed my cheeck. ''go away winifred''. i snapped as she moved to the door and looked back at me. i stayed in my room for days, almost a week had gone by, when natacha finally came in and said ''Rudolph valentino, iam so sick of this you have to get up and greet the world you just cant stay here in bed for ever drinking and what the hell is this''. she said sniffing the bottle and saying ''oh i think thats passed its expiration date''. ''go away''. i said as she moved to come closer to me on the bed. ''come on if its pleasure you want darling i shall pleasure you''. she said as she unbuckled my belt and took me into her mouth, i moved as i said ''natacha please don't''. i said as i moved her off of me, but in her persistance she went on. she again took my into her mouth and said ''do you like it''. ''no''. i screamed as i pushed her off the bed. ''fine suit yourself then'' she said as she left me alone by myself in my room, i slammed the door and locked it from the inside, only i had the key. another few days had gone by. ''i dont know what more to try to do for him, he wont eat and he is drinking all the time now he hardly ever comes out of that room and i always here him screaming and shouting and throwing things about, i mean i really thought there was someone in there last night when he was screaming ''i hate you jean''. then shouted horrible italian obsenityies and threw something at the wall''. ''do you think i should go to the villita and convince her to come back, i mean if she does come back with the kid it will be curtains for us, maybe your right its the only way''. natacha hated having to do it but she had to, she quickly dressed and set out in her buick to villita. when she arrived she saw grita sitting on the swing in her backyard with her back towards her. natacha walked over to her and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. grita looked up at her and said ''hi natacha, please come sit down, why have you come'' she said in a gentle whisper as natacha sat beside her on the swing, ''i've come on my own accord bout rudy''. grita looked at her and touched her arm and said ''is he ok''. ''no grita he is bad off, he's gone off his food and started drinking again, he misses you terribly, he hasnt left the room in 3 weeks and iam starting to worry about him, and the only way i know he'll come out of this is if you come home please''. she looked at natacha and heard the pleading in her voice and said ''i dont know, i mean if i come back you do realize i have to tell him bout the other night, what i saw right''. grita said as she moved forward and leaned on her knees. ''i understand what you have to do but please iam begging you to please come home and be with him for a while, he really misses you and i cant stand seeing him like this. he's even locked himself in the bedroom and the other day he went crazy throwing things around and shouting terrible obsenites in italian iam so scared he might do something to hurt me''. upon hearing those words grita thought she had done enough damage and she would go to see him. ''let me grab my sweater, natacha and i shall go with you back to the apartment''. i said i we rose from the swing chair and went inside it was then natacha saw my arms. ''what happened to your arms''. ''nothing'' i said as i slipped the sweater over my head and hurried out to the buick. as we drove quietly to the apartment and hurried inside, i went to the door i pressed my ear against the door and listened for a few moments, i didnt hear anything then i heard some thud against the wall, and the shouting in italian. i gasped at the terrible things he was saying as i started trying to pull the door. ''is zela in there with him'' i asked as natacha said i think so. ''come on''. i said as i went to the back pantry were we kept the tools, i fumbled around in there for a few minutes then found the ax, ''ok tell zela to get back cos iam going to smash in the window and climb in, duck down and stand back''. i said as i put the ax over my shoulder and swung. i then took off my sweater and removed the excess pieces of glass, as i climbed through the window, i didnt hear screaming or anything as i shimmied through the window, i pulled the curtain back, to see furniture sterewn on the floor, the table broken a hole in the wall as if he had punched it, empty wine and liqour bottles on the floor, cigarettes wrappers everywhere and there on the bed face down in a vertical position was my rudy, passed out and next to him an open liquor bottle. i went over to him careful not to step on or brake anything, *i was barefooted* i took the bottle from next to him, i put it to my nose and sniffed it ''oh my god'' i said as i jumped back and put the bottle on the nightstand as zela roared and jumped into my arms. i went over to the window and haned her down to natacha who said ''come her my little girl, my sweet baby''. then i focoused my attention back on rudy who was still laying face down on the bed. i carefully climb onto the huge bed, and layed next to him. i stopped breathing for a moment to listen to see if he was breathing, when i heard him breathing i closed my eyes and took a sigh of relief. then i put my arms around him and nestled closer to him on the bed, ''go away natacha, i told you i dont want to be with you''. ''i cannot go away my lord natacha sent for me, this afternoone''. as he said ''no she didnt i told you to go away''. ''i will not go away''. i said sternly as he moaned and opened his eyes and said ''grita''. ''now my lord what is all of this, i have heard of the huge ruckus you made but i had no idea it was this bad'' i said looking him, his hair unkempt and his face with 5 o clock shadow. ''grita, why didnt you come''. he asked as he sat up on the bed and i sat indian cross legged on the bed. ''i couldnt show up to that courtroom, and have everyone see me and know what we had done i couldnt face my harshest critics''. i said as he said ''well i wanted you, if you had been there it would have given me great pleasure and honor to show them iam not afraid to be with you, are you ashamed of me''. ''no iam ashamed of the things that have happened my lord not you, i could never be ashamed of you, i infact am so proud of you. your brilliance, your kindness your courage, your strength, your faith in me and knowing so i let you down and i am truly sorry''. i said as i put my arms around him with tears in my eyes. ''now what the holy hell is this''. i said holding up the clear bottle''. ''port''. ''it smells offal get rid of it''. i said as i gave it back to him and said ''well lets get you ready to face the world again, you really look terrible''. i said as i nearly fell off the bed. ''ok, a nice way of saying jee rudy you look like shit''. ''well then yes you do, now come on then into the bathroom while i clean up this mess''. i said replied as he obeyed and i gave the all clear to natacha, who appeared with zela in the doorway, as i unlocked it. ''oh my word, grita'' natacha said as she looked around the room and i replied ''thats what i thought, here give me a hand with all these bottles''. ''port, gees that must be where it came from because it smells terrible''. i whispered to myself as i picked up all the bottles and threw them in the trash can. then we cleaned up the broken glass from the window and moved the table, and chair that had been broken. i went into the bathroom to check on rudy. ''hey hows is everything going'' i said as he was now putting on his bathrobe and shaving. ''looking a lot better dear''. i said talking to him in the mirror as he looked at me and said ''angel arent you hot in that sweater''. ''no, your hot cos your drunk''. she said to me raising an eyebrow as she turned to leave, i grabbed her by the wrist and said ''your sweating, take off that sweater''. i said a i pulled it off her to see the slahes on her arms and forarms. ''GRITA, what have you done''. ''nothing''. she said pulling her arms away from me. ''grita'' i said as she turned to look at me, i took her in my arms and hugged her tightly, then i gave her a sweet passionate kiss, as she left the bathroom. when i emerged from the bathroom, grita was in the tool pantry putting away the ax. ''grita'' i said as she popped her head out and siad ''yes my darling''. ''come here to me please''. i said as she obeyed and said ''yes my love''. i took her by the hand and lead her into the other room, natacha's bedroom. i locked us in the room as i drew the curtains and sat in the chair and said, ''grita take off all your clothes''. she looked a me for a moment not sure was what to happen next. ''TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES''. i said sternly, she hesitated for a moment then proceeded to pull off her sweater, she then unbuckled her belt and unzipped her khakis, as she slipped them off she took off her sat blouse then her under garments until she was completely naked infront of me. ''now come here to me''. i said as she moved forward and came closer to me so that i could now fully see all her slits and slashes, all over her arms, legs, stomach, chests, breasts, throat and neck. ''Grita''. i said as i pulled her down in fron of me. ''oh how could you''. i said as i kissed her passionatly. ''cos i felt so ugly and''. she trailed off as i then said ''go and lay on the bed''. she obeyed and went forward on the bed. i had no other choice in my head as i took off my belt, she had her eyes closed and her back turned to me, whe i said ''grita iam sorry, but i have to punish you for this, this is horrible behaviour, and is unacceptable''. i said as i struck her hard, she didnt see it comming as she let out a terrible scream, but the sad part about it is she didnt move she just layed their and took it. i hit her several times with my belt before i stopped and dropped it next to me. grita was crying, and shaking as she held onto the edge of the bed, i didnt say nothing as i got on the bed next to her. ''inflict your pain on me my lord, iam a terrible sinner''. she said as i took her in my arms and said nothing as she let it all out and cried so hard. i held her so tight as she cried and cried all night long occasionaly she would say things like ''i have been so terrible and that is why god is punishing me''. or my favorite ''i just cant take it''. around 10pm she finally fell asleep in my arms, i dozed off a little while later after i thought about the events of that day.as the next morning tempts back her will to live. we awoke, i had already been awake for a little while, but i felt so guilty i didnt want to leave grita. so i was sitting up in bed reading the newspaper as she stirred and woke up. she was trembling and shaking. as i helped her kneel in bed. ''good afternoon my love''. i said as she opened her red bloodshot eyes to look at me and said ''yes''. she said as she stumbled off the bed and stood for a moment trying to regain her balance, before she went into the bathroom. she emerged a few moments later with the towel wiping her hands as she came back to the bed. she layed all the way back and looked up at me and said ''do you still love me''. ''i will always love you very much''. i replied as i looked down at her. ''prove it''. she said as i looked at her for a moment, i then moved down on the bed and kissed her, she put her arms around my neck and recipricated. ''you dont really love me''. she said as i moved back off the bed for a moment, she got off the bed and went to the wardrobe, she opened it and sat down inside it, which was a little unusual even for grita, i looked down at her for a moment as i followed her to the wardrobe. ''are you alright''. i asked as i knelt before her as she replied ''yes why''. ''because your sitting in the wardrobe''. she looked around the inside of the wardrobe and then moved forward and got out. ''i knew that, i was just playing around''. she lied as i put my arms around her and said ''maybe you need to come back to bed''. ''no i dont think so, i dont need to be in bed, with you or anyone'' she said mumbling as she started flailing her arms as i went into the bathroom, there it was the small pill bottle. ''Grita, i need you to focus, how many of these pills did you take just now''. ''oh i dont know there were so many that fit in my hand, maybe 20 of thirty''. she said idily as she stagered around the bedroom. ''look here mommy, do you know what these are''. i said as i looked at the pill bottle. ''i dont know, but they were there''. she said as i looked down at her. she was now sitting on the floor playing with her hair. ''natacha, natacha''. i said as i called for her and said ''what are these''. ''nembutol, their a mood stablizer''. she said to me as she then said ''why did u take some''. ''no, grita just woke up and took several and now she is totally out of it, shes on the bedroom floor right now''. ''oh god''. natacha said as she went into the room, grita was now passed out on the floor, ''grita come on wake up, come on now darling''. natacha said as she then said ''this isnt good, rudy help me get her into the bathtub''. i picked her up in my arms and took her into the bathroom, natacha ran the shower, she turned the cold water on and said ''here put her just here''. she said as i held her in my arms, the cold water hit her face and still nothing. ''come on you have to wake up now''. natacha said as she hit her face. ''rudy this isnt good, please grita wake up''. she said pleading as grita finally woke up. ''grita''. ''natacha''. she said smiling in a funny voice. ''hi''. ''hi grita, i need you to tell me how many of these you took''. i turned off the water, and sat her on the floor of the tub. ''i dont know, there so many in my hand, there bright and yellow''. grita said as she again went limp, and closed her eyes. ''grita no, come on stay with me now''. natacha said as she kelt in front of her. ''rudy, i need you to call the doctor , this is bad''. she said as natacha replied ''what did you do to her last night that she would do this''. i didnt answer her as i went to the phone, i fumbled with it as i trembled then i dropped the phone, and collected it again as i the called for the doctor. the doctor arrived quickly, as natacha opened the door, and said ''come in doctor, we have her layed out here in the back bedroom''. natacha said as the doctor called ''shes in here''. the ambulance followed him in. the doctor took out his small torch and flashed it in her eyes. ''how many did she take winifred''. the doctor asked as natacha said ''i dont know, half the bottle is gone''. the ambulance came into the room. ''i need an outlet''. the doctor said as the ems tech opened his case and pulled out a long rubber tube attached to a vacum like machine. he plugged it in and before he began he said ''Rudy, iam going to have to ask you to leave the room''. ''no'' i said as i he looked at natacha who nodded. ''alright then, come her and hold her hand this isnt going to be easy''. i went over to the opisite end of the bed and took her hand. the doctor moved her head back so that her mouth opened enough for him to get the tube down her throat. then the ems tech turned it on, a few moments grita was coughing and screaming as this machine was suctioning the meds out of her. after a few more tries she started kicking and screaming, natacha came over to the bed and held her legs steady, as i repositioned myself on the bed and held her middle. when the doctor was finished grita was still asleep. ''dont encourage her, to talk right away and i dont know much got into her blood stream so she may be out of it for a little while longer''. he said as he packed his case again and walked with natacha to the door as i layed next to Grita on the bed. grita opened her eyes and looked at me, she tried to talk but i said ''shh grite dont talk''. she closed her eyes again as i rested a gentle hand on her bare stomach. natacha watched as rudy and grita layed together on the bed, this was the first time she really understood how close they were.